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decision making

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Second Guessing

Second guessing

Before I left for Cape Town in 2005, I did this thing, I started second-guessing my trip and got scared to leave.

This was my first big trip in several years, Italy was in 2000, and I wasn’t going with my sister this time. My anxiety had roots in little things like my creature comforts (my couch) and routine (cuddling with my cat before sleep, going to the gym, seeing my friends).

There’s a picture still vivid in my memory of this time; I am sitting on my sage green sofa in our living room. My parents bought it for my sister and me, as well as this little garden patio home, which they thankfully unloaded shortly after the recession. Watching my TV that sat in this massive 1990’s style TV console, and thinking I really like this place. I really love my home, I’m comfortable here.

Slowly, the spiral starts…

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